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  • #1640985
    Profile photo of Ficlya
    Ficlya
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    Chuckle for the day & reasons to shop alone!!!

    RETIRED/BORED HUSBAND

    After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women – she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target:

    Dear Mrs. Harris,

    Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:

    1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people’s carts when they weren’t looking.

    2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

    3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women’s restroom.

    4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, ‘Code 3 in House wares. Get on it right away’. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.

    5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway

    6. August 14: Moved a ‘CAUTION – WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.

    7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he’d invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

    8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, ‘Why can’t you people just leave me alone?’ EMTs were called.

    9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

    10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

    11. October 3: Darted around the Store suspiciously while loudly humming the ‘ Mission Impossible’ theme.

    12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his ‘Madonna look’ by using different sizes of funnels on his chest.

    13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, he yelled ‘PICK ME! PICK ME!’

    14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed ‘OH NO! IT’S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!’

    15. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where the fitting room was?

    And last, but not least:

    16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, ‘Hey! There’s no toilet paper in here.’ One of the clerks passed out.

    #1640986
    Profile photo of jantra
    jantra
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    • Posts: 1624

    Well, at least he’s entertaining himself.

    #1640987
    Profile photo of borospailin
    borospailin
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    5p
    • Posts: 16193

    i like numbers 15 and 16:)

    #1640988
    Profile photo of sapphirise
    sapphirise
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    • Posts: 798

    men! such trouble maker

    #1640990
    Profile photo of FreekShow
    FreekShow
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    • Posts: 1171

    sounds like a Tuesday afternoon.

    [Message last modified 12-01-2011 07:17am by FreekShow]

    #1640989
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    FreekShow
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    .

    [Message last modified 12-01-2011 07:17am by FreekShow]

    #1640991
    Profile photo of precious_rose
    precious_rose
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    • Posts: 8419

    Wowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! I hope he is not a typical retired/bored husband. Or else, I am not getting me one..lol. :D Thanks for sharing! It was hilarious!:D

    Please, GOD be with ME!:)
    #1640992
    Profile photo of jantra
    jantra
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    • Posts: 1624

    You’ll get this type that will go places with you or the other one who will not let go of the remote control.

    [i]Originally posted by precious_rose[/i]
    Wowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! I hope he is not a typical retired/bored husband. Or else, I am not getting me one..lol. :D Thanks for sharing! It was hilarious!:D

    #1640993
    Profile photo of Darony
    Darony
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    • Posts: 5200

    he’s very creative hahaha

    #1640994
    Profile photo of malaika
    malaika
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    • Posts: 8442

    i want to lay-away some M&M too.

    #1640995
    Profile photo of yap_nass
    yap_nass
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    • Posts: 2733

    Haha so funny. I’m going to copy/paste and email :D

    #1640996
    Profile photo of Ficlya
    Ficlya
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    • Posts: 5657

    go for it, thats how i got it

    [i]Originally posted by yap_nass[/i]
    Haha so funny. I’m going to copy/paste and email :D

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