Hooking up

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This topic contains 22 replies, has 7 voices, and was last updated by Avatar of rexa rexa 2 years, 8 months ago.

Viewing 23 posts - 1 through 23 (of 23 total)
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  • #1226641
    Avatar of rexa
    rexa
    Participant

    How do you know if someone really wants to be with you because they care/love you? I’m having a hard time telling if someone is interest in me not just for their own benefit.

    #1226643
    Avatar of MissFoxyL
    MissFoxyL
    Participant

    If the person appears to be in control of their life and finances i.e they have a job and don’t need you to pay for things; chances are they are not with you for the wrong reasons. Mind you monetary gain is not the only kind of benefit that someone could use you for.

    [Message last modified 02-25-2012 02:59am by MissFoxyL]

    \ˈfäk-sē\
    #1226645

    AhSaren
    Participant

    the question that all kc have in the back of their mind is….who are u hooking up with? :D

    [i]Originally posted by rexa[/i]
    How do you know if someone really wants to be with you because they care/love you? I’m having a hard time telling if someone is interest in me not just for their own benefit.

    #1226648
    Avatar of meah_jeang
    meah_jeang
    Participant

    If you have a hard time finding out the question to this. Eliminate yourself from the equation. Are you insecure yourself? Do you think you have qualities worth finding out?

    [i]Originally posted by rexa[/i]
    How do you know if someone really wants to be with you because they care/love you? I’m having a hard time telling if someone is interest in me not just for their own benefit.

    #1226650
    Avatar of rexa
    rexa
    Participant

    Unfortunately, he has nothing. Financially I’m OK…Nothing to brag about. Part of me is telling me that I’m walking backward with this guy but the other part of me tells me we have something great. There’s lots of potential to make something out of nothing.

    I guess I have been feeling somewhat insecure because people are saying I’m going crazy getting into this relationship. A major part of me says, Who cares what people says.

    That this point I guess I have to follow my heart and hope my heart does not lead me down the wrong path.

    [i]Originally posted by MissFoxyL[/i]
    If the person appears to be in control of their life and finances i.e they have a job and don’t need you to pay for things; chances are they are not with you for the wrong reasons. Mind you monetary gain is not the only kind of benefit that someone could use you for.

    [Message last modified 02-25-2012 02:59am by MissFoxyL]

    #1226652
    Avatar of rexa
    rexa
    Participant

    Saren, you will find out sooner or later. He does not come in KC. I know this guy since High School. He’s not a total stranger.

    [i]Originally posted by AhSaren[/i]
    the question that all kc have in the back of their mind is….who are u hooking up with? :D
    [quote]
    [i]Originally posted by rexa[/i]
    How do you know if someone really wants to be with you because they care/love you? I’m having a hard time telling if someone is interest in me not just for their own benefit.

    [/quote]

    #1226654
    Avatar of MissFoxyL
    MissFoxyL
    Participant

    Hi Rexa you’ve answered your own question. Who cares what others think they are not in your shoes; if it feels right do it and if he is trying(doesn’t insist on going places even though he doesn’t have money) then just concentrate on being happy with him.

    [i]Originally posted by rexa[/i]
    Unfortunately, he has nothing. Financially I’m OK…Nothing to brag about. Part of me is telling me that I’m walking backward with this guy but the other part of me tells me we have something great. There’s lots of potential to make something out of nothing.

    I guess I have been feeling somewhat insecure because people are saying I’m going crazy getting into this relationship. A major part of me says, Who cares what people says.

    That this point I guess I have to follow my heart and hope my heart does not lead me down the wrong path.

    [quote]
    [i]Originally posted by MissFoxyL[/i]
    If the person appears to be in control of their life and finances i.e they have a job and don’t need you to pay for things; chances are they are not with you for the wrong reasons. Mind you monetary gain is not the only kind of benefit that someone could use you for.

    [Message last modified 02-25-2012 02:59am by MissFoxyL]

    [/quote]

    \ˈfäk-sē\
    #1226656
    Avatar of rexa
    rexa
    Participant

    I guess am somewhat insecure because I have been hurt before and people already thinks am crazy to even consider this guy.

    On the other hand, I confidence I have what it takes to make our relationship great as long as this person is completely honest with me. Honestly is what I believe is a key to a healthy relationship. Without honestly, I would not be able to make the right choice for me.

    [i]Originally posted by meah_jeang[/i]
    If you have a hard time finding out the question to this. Eliminate yourself from the equation. Are you insecure yourself? Do you think you have qualities worth finding out?

    [quote]
    [i]Originally posted by rexa[/i]
    How do you know if someone really wants to be with you because they care/love you? I’m having a hard time telling if someone is interest in me not just for their own benefit.

    [/quote]

    #1226658
    Avatar of rexa
    rexa
    Participant

    Thanks MissFoxy!! As you can tell I have been thinking a lot about this. I’m asking for options because I don’t want to be one of those person who is so blinded by love that it has clouds their judgment.

    Originally posted by MissFoxyL
    Hi Rexa you’ve answered your own question. Who cares what others think they are not in your shoes; if it feels right do it and if he is trying(doesn’t insist on going places even though he doesn’t have money) then just concentrate on being happy with him.

    #1226660
    Avatar of meah_jeang
    meah_jeang
    Participant

    well what I was trying to get at is that, what do you have to gain/lose by being with him. What does he have to gain/lose by being with you? Don’t sell yourself short is the point on my convo. Make sure you CAN see a future, unless you just want to have fun and date. Otherwise, you’re committing yourself to someone and maybe closing doors for others who see you as a possibility.

    [i]Originally posted by rexa[/i]
    I guess am somewhat insecure because I have been hurt before and people already thinks am crazy to even consider this guy.

    On the other hand, I confidence I have what it takes to make our relationship great as long as this person is completely honest with me. Honestly is what I believe is a key to a healthy relationship. Without honestly, I would not be able to make the right choice for me.

    [quote]
    [i]Originally posted by meah_jeang[/i]
    If you have a hard time finding out the question to this. Eliminate yourself from the equation. Are you insecure yourself? Do you think you have qualities worth finding out?

    [quote]
    [i]Originally posted by rexa[/i]
    How do you know if someone really wants to be with you because they care/love you? I’m having a hard time telling if someone is interest in me not just for their own benefit.

    [/quote]
    [/quote]

    #1226662
    Avatar of rexa
    rexa
    Participant

    I like that. Sounds like another good ways to looking at things.

    Originally posted by meah_jeang
    well what I was trying to get at is that, what do you have to gain/lose by being with him. What does he have to gain/lose by being with you? Don’t sell yourself short is the point on my convo. Make sure you CAN see a future, unless you just want to have fun and date. Otherwise, you’re committing yourself to someone and maybe closing doors for others who see you as a possibility.

    #1226664

    AhSaren
    Participant

    i think i may have a guess. Good luck Rexa. I hope it will be happily ever after.

    [i]Originally posted by rexa[/i]
    Saren, you will find out sooner or later. He does not come in KC. I know this guy since High School. He’s not a total stranger.

    [quote]
    [i]Originally posted by AhSaren[/i]
    the question that all kc have in the back of their mind is….who are u hooking up with? :D
    [quote]
    [i]Originally posted by rexa[/i]
    How do you know if someone really wants to be with you because they care/love you? I’m having a hard time telling if someone is interest in me not just for their own benefit.

    [/quote]
    [/quote]

    #1226666
    Avatar of rexa
    rexa
    Participant

    Thanks my friend! I hope you don’t think it’s someone at the concert in SF. One of my girlfriend thinks i was into my brother’s friend. Gross!! He’s like a brother to me.

    Originally posted by AhSaren
    i think i may have a guess. Good luck Rexa. I hope it will be happily ever after.

    Originally posted by rexa
    Saren, you will find out sooner or later. He does not come in KC. I know this guy since High School. He’s not a total stranger.

    #1226668
    Avatar of sapphirise
    sapphirise
    Participant

    wow! u in the same situation as my friend. Her bf has nothing but he’s a business minded guy and they are trying hard to make it work. Sometime she would come to me for more clarification about her choice and life with him since she does feel that he is using her for the money. Nevertheless, no matter what pple tell her or give her advices, she still follow her heart, believe in her bf and see where it lead them too. She’s actually not doing much she’s only investing in him so he can make his business plan comes true. Basically, he putting all the efforts into this relationship with a little bit of her help. She’s so happy when she told me that he is planning this and that for the future. So if you believe in him, follow your heart. I’m also wishing the best for my friend.

    [i]Originally posted by rexa[/i]
    Unfortunately, he has nothing. Financially I’m OK…Nothing to brag about. Part of me is telling me that I’m walking backward with this guy but the other part of me tells me we have something great. There’s lots of potential to make something out of nothing.

    I guess I have been feeling somewhat insecure because people are saying I’m going crazy getting into this relationship. A major part of me says, Who cares what people says.

    That this point I guess I have to follow my heart and hope my heart does not lead me down the wrong path.

    [quote]
    [i]Originally posted by MissFoxyL[/i]
    If the person appears to be in control of their life and finances i.e they have a job and don’t need you to pay for things; chances are they are not with you for the wrong reasons. Mind you monetary gain is not the only kind of benefit that someone could use you for.

    [Message last modified 02-25-2012 02:59am by MissFoxyL]

    [/quote]

    #1226670
    Avatar of rexa
    rexa
    Participant

    Thanks Sapphirise! Same thing with my new BF. At this point only time can tell what’s gonna happen.

    Originally posted by sapphirise
    wow! u in the same situation as my friend. Her bf has nothing but he’s a business minded guy and they are trying hard to make it work. Sometime she would come to me for more clarification about her choice and life with him since she does feel that he is using her for the money. Nevertheless, no matter what pple tell her or give her advices, she still follow her heart, believe in her bf and see where it lead them too. She’s actually not doing much she’s only investing in him so he can make his business plan comes true. Basically, he putting all the efforts into this relationship with a little bit of her help. She’s so happy when she told me that he is planning this and that for the future. So if you believe in him, follow your heart. I’m also wishing the best for my friend.

    Originally posted by rexa
    Unfortunately, he has nothing. Financially I’m OK…Nothing to brag about. Part of me is telling me that I’m walking backward with this guy but the other part of me tells me we have something great. There’s lots of potential to make something out of nothing.

    I guess I have been feeling somewhat insecure because people are saying I’m going crazy getting into this relationship. A major part of me says, Who cares what people says.

    That this point I guess I have to follow my heart and hope my heart does not lead me down the wrong path.

    #1226672
    Avatar of MissFoxyL
    MissFoxyL
    Participant

    Rexa trust your instinct you are a smart cookie =)

    \ˈfäk-sē\
    #1226674
    Avatar of meah_jeang
    meah_jeang
    Participant

    i would stay clear of relationships that are dependent for financial reasons. they rarely ever work out. my advice comes from being burned myself before. relationships need to survive without financial steriods otherwise, when the money disappears, then the relationship will too. you should only give money in situations where if you were to lose the money, it wouldnt matter to you. that goes for friends and family too.

    money changes everything and intentions and integrity will always come into question. you can say shes investing in him, but remember ecenomics will tell you, over 80% of small buisnesses fail. and they are not fdic insured loads being offered. regardless of the amount, agree to terms of repayment before handing out any cash if you so insist on ‘investing’ with anybody gf/bf or otherwise.

    [i]Originally posted by sapphirise[/i]
    wow! u in the same situation as my friend. Her bf has nothing but he’s a business minded guy and they are trying hard to make it work. Sometime she would come to me for more clarification about her choice and life with him since she does feel that he is using her for the money. Nevertheless, no matter what pple tell her or give her advices, she still follow her heart, believe in her bf and see where it lead them too. She’s actually not doing much she’s only investing in him so he can make his business plan comes true. Basically, he putting all the efforts into this relationship with a little bit of her help. She’s so happy when she told me that he is planning this and that for the future. So if you believe in him, follow your heart. I’m also wishing the best for my friend.

    [quote]
    [i]Originally posted by rexa[/i]
    Unfortunately, he has nothing. Financially I’m OK…Nothing to brag about. Part of me is telling me that I’m walking backward with this guy but the other part of me tells me we have something great. There’s lots of potential to make something out of nothing.

    I guess I have been feeling somewhat insecure because people are saying I’m going crazy getting into this relationship. A major part of me says, Who cares what people says.

    That this point I guess I have to follow my heart and hope my heart does not lead me down the wrong path.

    [quote]
    [i]Originally posted by MissFoxyL[/i]
    If the person appears to be in control of their life and finances i.e they have a job and don’t need you to pay for things; chances are they are not with you for the wrong reasons. Mind you monetary gain is not the only kind of benefit that someone could use you for.

    [Message last modified 02-25-2012 02:59am by MissFoxyL]

    [/quote]
    [/quote]

    #1226676
    Avatar of rexa
    rexa
    Participant

    [i]Originally posted by MissFoxyL[/i]
    Rexa trust your instinct you are a smart cookie =)

    #1226678
    Avatar of Savannah_S
    Savannah_S
    Participant

    I’m going through some bumps with the SO over $ only because a high percentage of his income goes towards his deadbeat-dysfunctional,criminal family. He won my heart because his big heart overpowers me and I couldn’t help but gravitated to it. However, love is love, but love sometimes doesn’t conquer all. His financial decision-making skills are questionable and it must be fix now. Spending my future paying off his family’s debt is not on my agenda and this isn’t what I signed up for.

    I followed my heart, yet my mind told me to express my concerns about our future together. After expressing my concerns to him, he agreed to it and took immediate action. It’s alright to tell him what you feel is best for the both of you. Life is too short to sacrifice sleep over worrying too much and beating around the bush. Get it done! Good Luck!

    #1226680
    Avatar of meah_jeang
    meah_jeang
    Participant

    Where would you draw the line to stop the relationship? I know a lot of people who have this issue with one partner or the other using money unwisely and they seem to never end with money issues in their relationship…

    [i]Originally posted by Savannah_S[/i]
    I’m going through some bumps with the SO over $ only because a high percentage of his income goes towards his deadbeat-dysfunctional,criminal family. He won my heart because his big heart overpowers me and I couldn’t help but gravitated to it. However, love is love, but love sometimes doesn’t conquer all. His financial decision-making skills are questionable and it must be fix now. Spending my future paying off his family’s debt is not on my agenda and this isn’t what I signed up for.

    I followed my heart, yet my mind told me to express my concerns about our future together. After expressing my concerns to him, he agreed to it and took immediate action. It’s alright to tell him what you feel is best for the both of you. Life is too short to sacrifice sleep over worrying too much and beating around the bush. Get it done! Good Luck!

    #1226682
    Avatar of rexa
    rexa
    Participant

    I totally feel you on that one. I don’t care what most people would say but money helps in a relationship. It might not fix everything but it does give you a chance to do what you really want to do together without any worries. Relationship is hard enough as it…With finanical problem in the mixes it just makes it harder.

    Helping out family is not a bad thing but finding yourself helping them all a time..Then there’s a problems. I strongly believe in helping yourself first before you can help others. At times it’s easy said than done. I kind of know what your SO is going thru but he also has to understand he needs to step up and learn to say no, for his own future well being.

    Right now I’m following my heart but we’ll see where it leads me. My mind is more powerful than my heart so I can’t really say that everything is going be all right for us. Good luck to both of us.

    [i]Originally posted by Savannah_S[/i]
    I’m going through some bumps with the SO over $ only because a high percentage of his income goes towards his deadbeat-dysfunctional,criminal family. He won my heart because his big heart overpowers me and I couldn’t help but gravitated to it. However, love is love, but love sometimes doesn’t conquer all. His financial decision-making skills are questionable and it must be fix now. Spending my future paying off his family’s debt is not on my agenda and this isn’t what I signed up for.

    I followed my heart, yet my mind told me to express my concerns about our future together. After expressing my concerns to him, he agreed to it and took immediate action. It’s alright to tell him what you feel is best for the both of you. Life is too short to sacrifice sleep over worrying too much and beating around the bush. Get it done! Good Luck!

    #1226683
    Avatar of DarK-Fire
    DarK-Fire
    Participant

    my advice is…go up to that person face..look into the eyes..keyword is “ASK” you’ll get an answer..com’on ..its 2012 …its do what you gotta do year…don’t waste another breath wondering…

    [i]Originally posted by rexa[/i]
    How do you know if someone really wants to be with you because they care/love you? I’m having a hard time telling if someone is interest in me not just for their own benefit.

    #1226685
    Avatar of rexa
    rexa
    Participant

    Thanks Dark Fire for the advice. I just did it, just like Mike, “Just do it” Nike’s commercial . You’re right who knows, how long I have before the world comes to end. I’m not wondering anymore. I’m just going with the the flow and living life.

    [i]Originally posted by DarK-Fire[/i]
    my advice is…go up to that person face..look into the eyes..keyword is “ASK” you’ll get an answer..com’on ..its 2012 …its do what you gotta do year…don’t waste another breath wondering…
    [quote]
    [i]Originally posted by rexa[/i]
    How do you know if someone really wants to be with you because they care/love you? I’m having a hard time telling if someone is interest in me not just for their own benefit.

    [/quote]

Viewing 23 posts - 1 through 23 (of 23 total)