trust and betray

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This topic contains 29 replies, has 20 voices, and was last updated by Avatar of Sovie Sovie 2 years, 1 month ago.

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  • #1648657
    Avatar of pimpdaddy
    pimpdaddy
    Participant

    PLEASE HELP, ADVICE:

    My wife and I have been together for several years now. However, at one time in our relationship we are on and off. She pretty much left me out of the blue for no reasons. She said she needed some times to think about us. Until recently, I found out during that 3 weeks gap she hooked up with her ex-boyfriend while she was on a business trip over sea. Things are still going great, however, I felt betrayed now that I just found out. I know past is past.

    What would you do if you are in my shoes?

    [Message last modified 07-16-2012 08:40am by pimpdaddy]

    [Message last modified 07-17-2012 12:05pm by pimpdaddy]

    #1648642
    Avatar of Kadin
    Kadin
    Moderator

    Just let it be.

    give yourself some time to be alone.
    Once you have become happy being by yourself, give yourself a chance for a new start with someone new.

    As for her….she’s the past. leave her there.

    បានចូលសាលា មានសញ្ញាប្រ័ត មិន ប្រាកដថាមានសមត្ថភាពក្នុងកិច្ចការ នោះទេ
    #1648643
    Avatar of pimpdaddy
    pimpdaddy
    Participant

    If I haven’t found out, things would be status quo. However, I will one day eventually find out anyway. No one can keep a secret forever. I do still love her despite the fact she did me wrong.

    #1648644
    Avatar of borospailin
    borospailin
    Participant

    we have been married for three years and we’ve been with each other for two years now
    our relationship is still is still very strong
    *cross fingers*

    #1648645
    Avatar of toast
    toast
    Participant

    At this point in time, you have to re-evaluate yourself.
    Ask yourself these questions:
    (1) Do you you love her? Does she love you in return (in your opinion)?
    (2) Is she still have contact with that ex?
    (3) Do you feel like like you want someone else prettier and/or younger?…if u do, use that excuse to bail on her. I’m serious.

    In short, what do you really want? The ball is on your court. If u feel like divorce and feel that you deserve someone better looking than her, u can dump her. Marriage is made to be divorce. If it was me, it’s zero tolerance when it comes to infidelity.

    #1648646
    Avatar of Darony
    Darony
    Participant

    what would I do if I were in your shoes? I’d walk out and never return.

    Let the Refining and Improving of your own life keep you so busy that you have little time to criticize others
    #1648647
    Avatar of BigP
    BigP
    Participant

    if you love her you should consider the circumstances that you were not together during that 2 month period. However she is still in constant contact with that ex, than I would reconsider.

    #1648648
    Avatar of Kaliboy
    Kaliboy
    Participant

    Whoa, so she left u out of the blue to hook up with an Ex? Ouch! Well it is all up to you and what u wanna do. Does the thought of your wife doing it with another man turn u on? Then maybe u can watch her as she mounts someone else. That way, u both can be happy. However, if the idea turns u off and your the jealous type, then by all means dump her! You found out on your own that she hooked up with another dude. It’s not like she confessed and came
    clean or anything. How can u trust someone keeping secrets from u?

    #1648649
    Avatar of Darony
    Darony
    Participant

    shoot..! I just reread it again after seeing BigP’s comment. I got confused and thought she cheated on you while you two were still together, but you weren’t. I take my words back. She was with her ex while you were on the off time, she’s free to date anyone she wanted-ex or not ex. Past is past, you two are together now that’s all that matters.

    Let the Refining and Improving of your own life keep you so busy that you have little time to criticize others
    #1648650
    Avatar of pimpdaddy
    pimpdaddy
    Participant

    It was one of those circumstance which we never officially broke up. She came back and acted like everything was normal. She just said she needed her space to make sure if this is what she wanted.

    #1648651
    Avatar of VWAaron
    VWAaron
    Participant

    Hmmm, looks like she believes in getting a free pass. Does that mean you can get with your ex or another woman at one point in your relationship and things will still be okay with her? If she’s not ok with that then there’s a problem.

    #1648652
    Avatar of BigP
    BigP
    Participant

    you could look at it in a positive light, she decide to get back together after the hook up, so it means she didn’t want to be with the other dude long term. Just another perspective thats all, might not be the right one.

    [i]Originally posted by pimpdaddy[/i]
    It was one of those circumstance which we never officially broke up. She came back and acted like everything was normal. She just said she needed her space to make sure if this is what she wanted.

    #1648653
    Avatar of khmerdos
    khmerdos
    Participant

    You get a free pass at least. Relationships are not black and white as you might think. We are sure in no position to tell you what to, it should be your decision and what you ultimately want out of it. Maybe talk with her and see what she wants and go from there. Divorce if you so choose this path could be easier if both of you respect and understand each other.

    [i]Originally posted by pimpdaddy[/i]
    It was one of those circumstance which we never officially broke up. She came back and acted like everything was normal. She just said she needed her space to make sure if this is what she wanted.

    #1648654
    Avatar of hoja
    hoja
    Participant

    Kadin is right. Leave her be. She is done with you. Infidel has no boundary. Find you next soul mate.

    #1648655
    Avatar of pimpdaddy
    pimpdaddy
    Participant

    Thanks for the advice. I wanted to confront her but I know it will lead to nothing but confrontational at the moment. I feel like I have wasted the last couple years with her now that i think about it.

    #1648656
    Avatar of hoja
    hoja
    Participant

    Good that you’re realize it. I know it’s hard and hurt so much but if you don’t let’s it’ll kill you eventually. Start your new life, make a past disappear otherwise you’ll be suffer for the rest of your life. She’ll find out soon or later that she let a good man goes. Move on don’t even think of the past.

    [Message last modified 07-17-2012 10:24am by hoja]

    #1648658
    Avatar of linnnie
    linnnie
    Participant

    You need to cut her loose. If you take her back, plain and simple: you’re a b!tch. How are you gonna let her test drive another dude for two months and even give her the option of your ride instead? Is this a marriage or the freaking Honda dealership? But I guess different people can tolerate different things, and while I sit here and roll my eyes as your balls roll across the ground, I understand that you might have not reached your limit yet. I hope you do soon.

    & It doesn’t matter that you guys were on a break. A break is a break, NOT a breakUP. She should’ve never slept with anyone if she had any intention of working things out with you. If she cared, she wouldn’t have entertained any other man. I mean for god’s sake was she wearing her wedding ring while she pleasuring him? That is just disrespectful!

    Anyways, good luck.

    #1648659
    Avatar of Darony
    Darony
    Participant

    Ok, many of us give comments based on your very little and confusing information. Just wanna clear things out..were you two married when she did that? When you said you were on an off and on relationship, did you mean your marriage? Because I never heard of off and on marriage, but off n on boyfriend/girlfriend.

    [i]Originally posted by pimpdaddy[/i]
    PLEASE HELP, ADVICE:

    My wife and I have been together for several years now. However, at one time in our relationship we are on and off. She pretty much left me out of the blue for no reasons. She said she needed some times to think about us. Until recently, I found out during that 3 weeks gap she hooked up with her ex-boyfriend while she was on a business trip over sea. Things are still going great, however, I felt betrayed now that I just found out. I know past is past.

    What would you do if you are in my shoes?

    [Message last modified 07-16-2012 08:40am by pimpdaddy]

    [Message last modified 07-17-2012 12:05pm by pimpdaddy]

    Let the Refining and Improving of your own life keep you so busy that you have little time to criticize others
    #1648660
    Avatar of neuk_nas
    neuk_nas
    Participant

    You said, things are still going great. If you guys are still in love, forgive her. Let her know, you know what she did and you forgive her. Honesty is the best option. So no one is holding grudge, bitterness or anything else. Life is too short to walk away from someone you dearly love. People make mistakes sometimes. The important thing is that they learn from it.

    #1648661
    Avatar of pimpdaddy
    pimpdaddy
    Participant

    We were dating, in committed relationship. Before she left for her trip, I told I would ask her mom for permission to marry her. I told her since day one that she is the one.

    #1648662
    Avatar of hoja
    hoja
    Participant

    Infidel has no place in marriage unless you like to share. Infidel will be infidel.

    #1648663
    Avatar of JackTsang05
    JackTsang05
    Participant

    LEave her, if she loves you then she shouldnt done something remotely to that towards you.

    Thats coming from past experience, she is no good and doing something behind your back for sure.

    #1648664
    Avatar of tmor
    tmor
    Participant

    sorry kid but you aint a pimpdaddy

    #1648665
    Avatar of pR3nCess
    pR3nCess
    Participant

    No one can tell you what to do but you. It’s really all up to you and what you want to do since it’s your life and you have to live it.

    I’m sure this will make me sound like an @ss since I see things in black and white. Personally, I’d call it quits and move on from there. I’m the type who holds a grudge forever and that type of action I won’t forget, forgive, nor tolerate. I’ll take my chances w/ a loser somewhere…just sayin’…

    #1648666
    Avatar of MissFoxyL
    MissFoxyL
    Participant

    Can you live with this and not let it affect your relationship down the road? If the answer is no it’s time to move on. Some people on here mentioned a “free pass” which seems like a fair option but does that really solve anything it just makes 2 cheaters out of 1…trust me if my husband did this I wouldn’t even be questioning it on this site. Good luck to you I hope it works out in your best interest.

    \ˈfäk-sē\
    #1648667
    Avatar of precious_rose
    precious_rose
    Participant

    Any type of betrayal, past or not is still BETRAYAL. If you can live with it, then stay. If not, you’re lucky to find out before it’s too late. Good Luck!

    Please, GOD be with ME!:)
    #1648668
    Avatar of sampheap
    sampheap
    Participant

    I agree!

    [i]Originally posted by toast[/i]
    At this point in time, you have to re-evaluate yourself.
    Ask yourself these questions:
    (1) Do you you love her? Does she love you in return (in your opinion)?
    (2) Is she still have contact with that ex?
    (3) Do you feel like like you want someone else prettier and/or younger?…if u do, use that excuse to bail on her. I’m serious.

    In short, what do you really want? The ball is on your court. If u feel like divorce and feel that you deserve someone better looking than her, u can dump her. Marriage is made to be divorce. If it was me, it’s zero tolerance when it comes to infidelity.

    #1648669
    Avatar of Pisey
    Pisey
    Participant

    Pretty much what everyone has said so far, if you could forgive her then stay if not then leave. Dont go into marriage with pre-exiisting crack.

    I personally I think it’s quite dishonest to just go away for some “space” and came back behaving like nothing happened when something did happen.

    @'-;----
    #1648670
    Avatar of JackTsang05
    JackTsang05
    Participant

    My problem is i trust people too quickly, but good thing is if they F up there is no second chance.

    #1648671
    Avatar of Sovie
    Sovie
    Participant

    [i]Originally posted by Pis3y[/i]
    Pretty much what everyone has said so far, if you could forgive her then stay if not then leave. Dont go into marriage with pre-exiisting crack.

    [b]I personally I think it’s quite dishonest to just go away for some “space” and came back behaving like nothing happened when something did happen.[/b]

    I totally agree. Dishonestly to me is almost as bad as cheating and in most cases, I would treat them as the same thing.

    http://bobbleheaddiary.wordpress.com/
Viewing 30 posts - 1 through 30 (of 30 total)